Points of View

Kanina while nakasakay ako sa bus, the song “points of view” keeps on playing in my mind, yung girl na nakasabay ko told me”ang ganda ng song na yan” that was the time, I realized that I am actually singing the song.whether I sang it well or not, the thought was that I am happy singing that song..

“..Here I am

I haven't gone that far away,

And since I am

The kind of friend you know

Would stay with you through all the pain

Never to leave you in the rain

Ready to listen to what you've been through

Your woes and blues and share each other's...

Points of view

We've been there once before

And kept our points of view

It doesn't really matter if they're never quite the same

We have our rules in diff'rent ways,

We play the games of diff'rent folks with diff'rent strokes

And keep our points of view..”

Yesterday night, I receive a phone call from an old-time friend (Eduardo Mercadejas), hindi ko lang talaga mapigilan yung sarili ko to express how happy I am knowing that I am really blessed with genuine friendhip na kahit ilang libong tao pa ang makilala natin in our different journey, sobrang nabiyayaan ako ng mga kaibigan na kahit sabi nga, baligtarin man ang mundo, mahal ka, naniniwala at nagtitiwala pa rin sayo no matter how far the distance is. I am not perfect and no one is, hindi ko talaga alam kung paano i-express yung saya na nararamdaman ko while writing this passage, alam ko kasing marami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagtatampo na sa akin because of lack of communication, I can’t afford to have time even for a coffee or a chat with them, also and dami ko ding na miss na special occasions in their lives. There were words left unspoken and things left undone, kung marami pa sanang oras for me to make it up, kaso tlgang wala na, I am on the run even on Sundays, at sobrang napakaliit ng chance for me have a good rest, honestly, I sometimes forget that it is a special day for me but amidst everything, I still believe that there is perfect time for everything, as what is stated in the holy book..” may panahon ng pagtatanim, at may panahon ng pag aani”.

Thank you so much.Hindi nyo alam kung gaano ako naging masaya hearing your voice again, knowing that you are fine makes me feel relieved as God answers all my prayers. Hindi man ako palaging nasa tabi nyo to comfort you and somehow gives you strength in times you needed it the most, but I swear, there was never a day without you in my prayers, that is (I know) the best thing my busy life can offer . I am not perfect, but friendship gives me the best meaning of imperfections, and one of these days, as we grow old, life’s imperfection is actually the reason why we live, why we love and we need a friend..
Cheers!!!!

..my heart will be settled...

Lately, I have been hurried by so many queries on how and when will I get married, hehehe..to tell you honestly, I don’t know. For a couple of weeks, my mind has been savaging to the idea of having my own family, yearning for a companion. And that is how my stress came to build up..hahaha!!! for some reasons, I easily get overwhelmed when a pile of tasks appear before me. And in those circumstances, am afraid of not being able to deliver it just the way I want it as perfect as it can be. A lot of friends known me for being perfectionist in some ways I also don’t understand. Maybe it’s just that I am making myself accountable for every task and situation I am into.

Honestly, I envy people who seem to be so careless to take everything and yet they still deliver the best in them. I want their brains seriously so that I can understand the way they view things in a manner different from me.

I kept telling people that I will not settle down until I am ready, ready to leave the things I have grew up, and ready to give up the tasks and activities I have engaged with for almost half of my life. Ready to leave those things that make me want to live in a single-blessed life. Well, most of my friends had already settle down, some got even married and live a happy life with their chosen long-time best buddy. Am not afraid of commitments, in fact, I have lots of it! Hahaha!!! Commitments to church, to friends, to relationship, studies, work..name it!! But my heart didn’t feel any better, for I know that amidst its busyness, amidst the things that it enjoys the most, this heart keeps on searching and longing for the most compromising commitment of all…marriage.

But the question is, how soon I will be ready to leave the things I have right now, will I am able to see things the way a mother see it? The moment this question strikes me, perplexity came along.

Very few people know that what I want when I settle down is far different from my lifestyle. I want a simple, peaceful and private married life. And these marriage ideas will not be possible if I leave everything unfinished. I have a lot of things to accomplish prior to separating my self to the environment I was known for. As what am telling a while ago, I always make myself accountable for the things I am into, and as of now, I am into politics, I have to finish this term with a legacy for my community, I want to share the best things I can to ensure that progress will come their way, before I settle at least, we can minimize out of school youth along the kalyes and by ways of the roads playing cara y cruz, I envision a community free from any threat of poverty and lack of education, I want to share a dream to my fellow colleague, to develop and establish a community of wisdom, of unity and livelihood, before I settle down, I want my community to understand the importance of UNITY and UNDERSTANDING, I want them to be inspire to share their lives for the betterment of everyone. I know this will take a long way aboard these idealistic visions but when I am done preparing their way, enlightening their paths, and ensuring my community’s progress, that is the time my heart will be settled.

Another thing, I have to ensure my family’s safety, my mother’s stability, I want her to experience life free from worries and painful things brought by poverty and striving hard to place us where we are right now, I want to accomplish at least something about paying back my gratitude to her, I want her to have her own business, her own will to manage and live life again, I want to build a home for her again, where she will be able to reminisce her moments with my father, I want to brought the world back to her. This may take a long journey of striving so hard, but when I know I have prepared the way for this, that is the time, my heart will be settled.

Relative to this, I have to ensure my sibling’s happiness, I look forward for a better future ahead of them. I want to see all of their togas, being able to see and read what is written in their diplomas are the best way to bid me goodbye to single-blessed life.

It maybe concluded that it seems marriage for me is a kind of separation to the place and the people I grew up, DEFINITELY YES!. Because when I settle down, I want to live in a place far from anxiety of the world. I want to keep my personal relationship with the Lord together with the one I chose to live with the rest of my life. I want to savor the simplicity and peacefulness of a sacred marriage.

When all these things knocks in my door. it’s time..my heart will be settled…

The SunKen Garden

Everyone loves flowers, the beauty of it is explicitly beyond description of God’s work.. When I was a child, I remember a cartoon series named “Mary at ang Lihim na Hardin” which came as my favorite cartoon ever until I grew up a lady. I remember how I patiently wait for the time to play its theme song, I actually sing along with it, memories came back when am secretly anticipating every clips of it as it was reminded over and over the television.

One of the episodes I love the most was when Mary found out how the secret garden looks like, when she happen to enter the sacred place for the first time. She was stunned for the beauty of the place and didn’t utter a word for quite a while. Then she found out that her mother really loves the roses planted in the garden that was the time she understood her father, she understood why her father wants her to get rid off the garden. Her father was so afraid that the said incident might happen again to Mary.

Mary returned home with a plan in her mind to relive the garden for the sake of her mother’s memory. And as soon as she was growing up, the story reveals that it was not actually her mother’s memories that keep the beauty and enchantment of the place, but it is because of Mary’s love for the garden, it is because of Mary’s pure heart that understands the need of the garden; to be whole again, to live again and to give joy to everyone’s heart that is longing to see the secret and enchanted beauty of the flowers inside. Since then, the garden was opened to the public, the story about her mother’s love for the flowers goes on and on along with the beauty of Mary’s heart that relived the sanctity of the place.

In our lives, we sometimes forget the beauty within because we are candid beyond the walls of our secret gardens; we thought that what keep us alive are the memories we keep inside its dens. But alas! We are blinded of the reality that plainness and the magical events outside the gardens are exactly what keep the beauty of it. It was actually what we are experiencing, love, forgiveness, sharing, understanding, and believing is what really are the flowers that blooms into it..

Yesterday, I feel as if I am Mary in her secret garden, but today, I feel as if I am her father, protecting all the secrets that lie behind the gardens. Tomorrow, I will be the caretaker, who will tell the whole story how it was called the sunken garden…

..bits of weekend..

Well, it was a weekend. Not overly exciting, but there were adorable tales to tell. I spent weekend at the session hall. Funny how just staying and mingling with the people within your community, listening to their concerns, feeling what exactly how they feel…it’s all fulfilling.

Saturday morning was spent in the office, while afternoon was consumed at the session hall, mingling with my community comrades, doing some of those things that is priority. I have finished draft of barangay ordinance solely for the committee’s program on comprehensive ecological solid waste management. The papers were just in my drawer, waiting patiently to be studied, revised and to be updated. Thanks God for giving me such wisdom and much time to accomplish everything in a day.

Saturday night which was supposed to be a dinner date happened to be a date in the supermarket buying things that will be needed for my committee and public forum the following day. Going home as early as 11: 00 p.m ( too tired..Zzzzz….)

Sunday was supposed to be a schedule for my music commitments however due to unavoidable circumstances and overlapping of schedules, well, as what is expected, stating an explanation and notice of absence in choir practice (religiously done for quiet a month or two, wah!!!! ) I woke up as early as 6 in the morning preparing things that is needed for my meeting, the agendas, the documents, the papers and of course whole self so that I can clearly discuss the things that has to be clarified and settled and need to be explained thoroughly to my constituents.

1:00 p.m.THE FORUM. We had a nice chat, and I pray that what has transpire during the conversation and the survey will be implemented across the community, I also pray that the acquaintance continues to blossom into unity and friendship within the people in my neighborhood. Then, heading to chapel, dropping by for choir practice, whew!! Very good timing, the practice has just ended upon my arrival..huhuhu… can’t come up. But at least I happen to spent at least an hour chatting with them.. it makes me feel relax. Having snacks with my choir mates while keeping each other updated really is something very enjoyable, the laughter of these young worshipers really adds up to my strength to continue serving amidst difficulty with my schedules.

Around 6 in the afternoon, my “irog” fetch us up and there ends the session. Deep inside I really want to spend time with him at least even for a while, my mind really seeks a handful of worthwhile and relaxing conversation, but my body seems telling me to have some rest since the following days will be spent again to work.

Poor ‘heart of mine’. I have to end ‘my weekend’ and needs to get ready for the busy week ahead.

Happy Day!! (Blissful Celebration of Blessed LIfe)

I feel so blessed today, having witnessed the beautiful creation of God’s Miracle, for adding another year in my life. I feel so great to be surrounded by valuable friendship beyond time, beyond distance..I feel so inspire having the courage of doing and choosing something that is beyond my expectations. My loving and supportive family that is always there giving meaning to my life. I feel so great of choosing to be happy. My life for the past 27 years recently brought me to this rule: Happiness is a personal choice and not the product of anything tangible and this rule is my driving force to achieve the ultimate happiness in simplicity of life.

Ross surprised me to have arrange a flower delivery for my Birthday even though he is in Canada already

Tulips were really is my favorite flower, he sent he it together with a love letter actually written by him..

God is so good for bringing Ross into my life, his presence is beyond material things that life can enjoy, he is more than a lover but a mere fraction of my life that no matter how the formula goes, he will still know the answers. It’s not I totally have no time in the world, but it’s about having so much of passion to fulfill in a very little time. Every single day is a journey of my life that I should not miss to Thank God for all His blessing bestowed upon me. Indeed, time flies, and our journey of life is the best teachers.

Thank you for another year of success, of freedom, of wisdom and strength!

Old Photographs

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to look at the old pictures to make the memory anew. After a couple of weeks of non visiting my blog lots of things had happen and as usual I would like to share this in writing..

All of us have this precious stories that due to its priceless meaning in our lives, we cannot let go of it..neither we cannot tell these stories even to our trusted friends..I have gone through this..after all of that has been said and done, still your heart desires for something which you perfectly knows you cannot have anymore. Regrets filled your heart to know that those precious moments will remain precious and is hidden for the rest of your life and later on acceptance will come along..

“can we be more than friends?” why not, but why now? Regrets are fillers of life they are everywhere, they make us human, they let us feel the emptiness and in a while they will filled us with unexplainable happiness.

I have many regrets, many what if’s, plenty of but’s and maybe’s but at the end of the day, reality always prevails, that we can’t cry over spilled milk.. what has happened had happen and it will remain part of the past however it may cause us pain. As we travel along the roads of life, we sometimes choose the path less chosen, and I’m one of those. That no matter how convenient I maybe, I still chose the path which leads me into somewhere I don’t know at first and then later known how lucky I was for choosing that path. Yes, the pain strikes and it is something you cannot explain, the fear of letting go, the numbness that you have to inhibit, all of which are but a part of the current where our lives will meet.

Someday, we’ll see each other again, on that day we’ll be able to smile and say..”we can’t be more than friends, because we are exactly the best definition of.. FRIENDSHIP..

The journey..with Carmies

It’s not just a famous band’s name that conquers the heart of most Filipinos by singing the undying song” Faithfully”. It’s all about facing the realities of life. The further along I travel in life, the more it is evident that 

life's simplicity which nourish our heart the most. 

This day as I type these words I am recalling the conversation I had with my best friend Carmi (as we have the same names). As our conversation fluidly ranges from the many ways we treasure our comrades, our family to the particular way we each enjoy the fine dining, it blesses my heart.

I know it is her beingness, her unique loving presence that touches everyone. Her vulnerability which ironically became her strength. I realized that most of us are sometimes tuck in a path leading to the roads which are less traveled. Consequence is, we have to decide whether to take the risk or to travel the safer path. Sometimes, we forget about what companionship brings to us..In the instance that we come up to a “wrong decision”, we sometimes carry the burden alone without realizing the cause of why we have traveled alone leading to a choice to take or not to take. 

Again the formula of Life’s simplicity should be applied. Distribute our burdens, Share..Smile..and Forgive. 

There are no mistakes on choosing whatever paths that hearts or fate desires, it’s a matter of taking time to see beautiful things along your journey (don’t walk too fast, you might miss the blooming of flowers along the way). 

Not everyone will agree that Life is Easy,but everyone will agree that life is challenging yet simple journey of forgiving, appreciating, smiling and most of all…sharing..faithfully.