UNWRITTEN

How about garden salad and banana milk shake for dinner, and a combination of chocolate-pistachios ice cream?

Sometimes, its not the taste that counts but the memories that mixed with the menu. It is not about the pesos and cents but how much time slept away.

For many, life is indeed a mystery. In every masterpiece, there is always a mixture of emotions just exactly how the salad was designed.

In all honestly, I don't know how to express the nearness of thoughts from this blog, what I only know is that I was there from the start and I will always be there behind your back...

I mean always.

My UP- Manager's Course Graduation Response June 22,2013

To our distinguished guests, our coordinators and my fellow managers. Good afternoon.

Wednesday afternoon, I received a message from UP ISSI advising me to prepare a response for this graduation rite. Due to a busy schedule, I wasn't able to absorb what they meant. It was just yesterday that I have figured out what I was about to deliver today. 

Six months ago, I am focused on my working papers of reviews and recommendation to add value and uphold Saviour MeDevices’ commitment to service. Not until our HR Manager advised me that I will be having a Saturday Class in UP ISSI. I felt excited. I am more than thankful. My expectations were high, of course with the assumption that I will be relaxed away from my office. And UP ISSI did not fail me.

From day 1, I am sure that everyone will agree with me that we have learned a lot from this course. There is so much to tell about each day of yearning to learn more from the leaders around you. It was more than a privilege collaborating with their unquestionable accurate intelligence.  

I will not consider this day as the end of this class nor sessions. Instead, I am proud to say that I am more than excited to start my leadership again with my colleagues with a more ideas of modern management tools and techniques and with confidence I will say…

The success of my modern management is from working together, sharing, and listening with my co-leaders in 102^nd Manager’s Course in UP ISSI.

And again, I will end up this response with my favorite saying from Socrates “THE ONLY TRUE WISDOM IS IN KNOWING, YOU KNOW NOTHING” 

Waiting..

"Lying in the gloom, in my lonely room..thinking of how to reach you, dreaming of having you.." isa yan sa mga linya ng kanta na masasabi kong classic para sa akin.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na din talaga alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Hindi ko masabi kung nasaan ba akong bahagi ng buhay ko. Kung nasa realidad pa ba ako o nasa junction ng pangarap.

I never dream of anything big. In fact, my deepest desire is to be the best mother and the best wife. I never dream of being the best friend, the best boss, the best mentor, the best somebody-else. Let me share to you a secret, there was a point in my life where I call it "my breakthrough" it was the time I found out who I am. From that moment, I suddenly feel emptiness, numbness in everything, all that was left was pain. No it isn't. It was agony. That was the time I cried for help but you know what the saddest part is? I found myself holding my own hands, I heard me saying , "I can make it..this will not last a lifetime.."

And there it goes, I started all over again. With what has been left for me, I face life again. In a different light, a different view, with a different meaning.  I leave all the memories behind, I move on with nothing to remember except, I promise myself to be the best person I could. And having experience my breakthrough, I promise of nothing else but to have a home as an output of me being the "best person" I could.

I never did anything wrong in a relationship, I remain as faithful as I can, I remain committed as it is the golden rule. I experience heartaches, I have been cheated many times, but I remain firm and loyal to what I believe is "love". All I did since I was young is waiting, yun kasi ang laging nangyayari sa Fairy Tales. Yung prinsesa laging naghihintay kay Prince Charming, tapos in the end happy ending kasi nagpakabait ang prinsesa habang naghihintay sya.

Suddenly, my life reached its turning point now, I realized, I am still waiting.

The Secret

It frightens me, yes. But I have to smile. I must. I don't know how to explain how I feel at this moment. I'm afraid.The only thing I know is that, I'm not yet ready..it is my greatest fear..she's the only family I have. While writing this, tears are flowing and no matter how much I tried to stop it, it keeps on falling. I should gather my strength, I must compose my thoughts, I must be her strong refuge, but  I'm too weak to face it. How I wish I could tell the world..the secret.

Let's go back to the start..

That's it.. Sabi nila, ang love story daw na gawa ng Lord, kapag hindi pa happy ending..hindi pa daw yun ending. I believe in that. Alam ko, God designed and save something very special for me. It might not be now, but it will come. Pero syempre while waiting, I have God to comfort me, to keep me grounded, to make me feel that His love is never ending, it is fresh every morning, it never gets tired, its always there to cheer me up. It is there to keep me company, to remind me that I need not to be no. 1 at everything but just being me is enough.

He was a good man, and the way I knew him cannot be changed. It will remain there, kaya nga ako umalis e kasi ayokong mabago yung paraan kung paano ko sya nakilala at kung paano ko sya minahal. I want that feeling to last forever. wala akong gustong maaalala kundi how it was all strated, how the fairy tale begun, how it goes well, how it was blessed, how it was before..

Call me weak, pero ayoko talagang makita yung fall down, i dont want to see everything is breaking just because we changed, whether it was him or me had changed, it doesnt matter anymore, basta ang alam ko, gusto kong tumigil ang lahat sa kung paano ako paulit ulit na nainlove noon. ayokong makita kung anong nangyayari ngayon..

I'd rather leave while I'm in love. Kasi yun yung gusto kong maalala palagi and letting go doesn't always mean ending, maybe,just maybe..there is best to come.

Lord, please do what I am always whispering to you at night. Thank you for the chance of being love.

Sugat

Nakatingin sa kawalan,umaasa sa wala
Napakaraming buntung-hininga ang hindi mo magawa
Maraming sana, bakit, pwede kaya?
Paano mo yayakapin ang talinghaga?

Para bang multo ang paligid habang tinititigan
Ang lawak ng langit hindi mo matingnan
Ang dami ng kulang, hanggang saan at kailan?
Para bang alaalang pinipilit kalimutan..

Humahabi ng kwentong masaya ang katapusan
Kahit na ang luha ay wala nang pagsidlan
Tigib ang pusong lihim na sugatan
Pagkat kailangang ngumiti kahit na nasasaktan

Nakatingin sa parang, hanggang mag dapit-hapon..
Ang pag-ibig bay kukunin na ng panahon?
Maghihintay kayang  maubos ang alaon
O ang tubig sa karagatan kailan kaya hihinahon?

Matalim ang salitang hindi mo matalos
Para bang ibong ikinulong at iginapos
Impit na paghikbing hindi matapos tapos
Sa rehas ng mga kwentong may sugat at galos.

passing by..

Funny. I was about to write a blog about what am feeling right now, but the moment i opened my page and saw the profile picture in it, there was this unexplainable feeling inside the envelopes the entirety of me.

I honestly can't figure it out until this very moment, but it was actually a happy thought that I cannot recall.