The Wedding Song ;)

I'll let your thoughts flew away

Sleep in a million miles of clay..

We'll walk until the end of today

Tomorrow will celebrate a lovely day!

Loving you is much of what I can say

Since to grow old together is more a bit cliche

But your love really finds a way

And takes the tide to a merely sway..

Tomorrow is the celebration of life

The happiness I really cannot hide

Thank you for sharing and giving your life

It's a long journey and I love to be

....your loving bride.. ;)

Te amo desde lejos

Thousands of distance are in place

There were many features of a poker face

Cannot reach the feeling of being embraced

There were mixed emotions of stupid race.

From afar I will call your name

With instances of feelings, I was to blame

I have fallen to this game

Of friends and lovers that should be tamed.

Should I say Thank you or Goodbye?

Then promise not to cry.

Should I say enough or stay a while?

Or leave the things that starts with Lies?

Can you give additional millions of being far

Where stars and moon cannot meet the sky

Can you just go away without saying "hi"

And leave the premises while friendship starts to die?

just beside him...

Sa totoo lang, natatawa ako kasi nagsusulat ako ng tungkol sa mga bagay na ito. There were people na alam kung paano nagsimula ang relasyon naming dalawa. Napaka konti ng tao na nakaalam kung paano kami ulit nagkita at nakakatawa mang aminin "nagkakilala".

We are complete strangers when we meet each other again, malayo na pala kaming dalawa. We are keeping the relationship now for 5 successful years..at alam kong it will count more.

May mga blogs na akong isinulat tungkol sa kanya, tungkol sa relastionship namin pero ang nakakapagtaka don, sa bawat araw na aalalahanin ko kung paano kami nagkita at nagkakilala ulit, hindi ko maiwasang kiligin at maiyak.

Mahirap akong isorpresa, I almost knew a lot of surprises and of course the tricks to make is a success pero nung araw na nakita ko ulit sya after 8 years, yun ang pinaka surprising event sa buhay ko.

He came just in time. Nakakatawa nga e kasi napakaraming beses na din akong "nag emote" para makipaghiwalay, pero at the end of the day, iniisip ko, anong part ba ng limang taong relasyon namin ang hindi ako naging masaya?

 Naiiyak ako, kasi wala. Wala akong dahilan para iwan sya, para hindi sya mahalin, para hindi sya hintayin.

He may not be here physically, pero napakaswerte ko dahil kahit minsan hindi ko naramdaman na nabawasan ang pagmamahal niya. Kahit minsan hindi ko naramdamn na hindi ako mahalaga. There was never a day that he stops courting me.

Wala akong maalalang panahon na hindi nya ipinakita sa akin yung tama kapag magulo na ang lahat. I am stubborn, sabi nga nila intimidating ako masyado but this man makes me the real me..

And there is no place i love the most...but beside him...just beside him.

ROSS..

After reading a certain post in my FB's wall, I didn't notice that tears were actually flowing from my eys.. its says:

Having read this article I realized that God really loves me so much to have given Ross in my life.. He is the most wonderful person I have met.

Lahat ng sinabi sa post na to were all true about us.. Ross is exactly the man in here..the closest person to my heart that knows me more than I knew myself.. the person I love and will always love to be with kahit saan ako pumunta.

He had seen the worst side of me and yet loving me dearly after all...

Escape from Lupus..

The day ends. My waiting is over, Thank God, all the lab tests were normal. There were confusions taunting me, but I don't think I will dwell on that. There were pains, yes, but I decided to schedule everything. At least this time, I somehow managed to have a "me-time" for check ups and/or consultations.

For three weeks, medical consultations has been a "routine" for me. If there is an attitude that everybody knows about me, it is when I started something (e.g medical check ups, etc.), am gonna make sure to finish it so that I won't go back anymore.

Having all the medical consultations done, I am now going back to where I used to be. Those weekends really taught me lessons. Most importantly, I managed to view life as a whole within three weeks. All of sudden, my views changed, and everything seems to turn 360 degrees. But don't get me wrong, its all for the betterment of everything (I suppose).

Ross really deserve a gratitude for pushing me to have finish my clinic schedules. Am really lucky having him as my "Prayer Buddy". No one could really play his role in my life, and if there is, am sure that would be in another lifetime. Thank you so much Honey. ( a big hug for you >.< )

And not to mention my cool doctor (ksc213) for inspiring me to be more sensitive and responsible about my health condition. Thank you Doctor.

Am sure this year's August will be very memorable to me as I am now preparing my schedules for September. God must be really good to me for letting me view life in a different perspective.

Have to park here. It's time to go back to work and back to reality. Am fine..I know I will be. 

KANLUNGAN

I will never get tired of hearing this song from Noel Cabangon. His songs always reminds me of how simple things made life worthy to live everyday.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari tomorrow, pero alam kong whatever happens I always have Ross, my Safe Refuge.

Time really flies so fast, kaya dapat maappreciate ko ang bawat araw na masaya ako, na nagmamahal ako, na nagtitiwala ako sa mga tao sa paligid ko, at higit sa lahat, dapat maging blessing ako sa ibang tao so that I will have no regrets habang lumilipas ang panahon.

Love, 

Carmi

Ji Te Wo AiNi..(Remember I love You)

Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses at ilang beses ko pang uulit ulitin balikan kung paano naging kaming dalawa..

Basta ang alam ko, nagdasal ako na sana bigyan ako ng wisdom to asses my self before settling down..napakarami kong confusions non, at kahit until now, napakaraming bagay na continous kong inaayos for me to be worthy of my purpose in life...

                                                   

 

Then suddenly he came along…fixing everything in me.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko pasasalamatan ang araw na nakita ko ulit sya after 8 years. Hindi ko din alam kung paano ko talaga pipigilan ang sarili ko to love him everyday..

           

Araw araw, mas minamahal ko sya, araw araw mas nasasabi ko sa sarili ko na wala akong ibang taong nakikitang kasama at gusto kong kasamang tumanda kundi sya..

Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari bukas, pero ang alam ko, araw araw ko syang mamahalin..until another lifetime..

186th day

The time is running faster than the clock
It never figures out who’s behind the flock
He keeps on running away from my mind
Until this day comes behind my back.

Thinking what might have gone wrong
Is there a thing for stupid reasons?
Holding a dream so near and far
It’s like catching the farthest star.

Where will this end, when will the wound be healed
The ghost of summer time is beginning to get real
Complications coming in
The feelings are coming deep within..

There is no room for lullabies
Hiding all the reasons for goodbyes
Taking the clock beyond control
Winter comes, summer then fall.

Adios es a la vuelta de la esquina (goodbye is just around the corner)

It all seemed so unreal. I couldn’t believe any of this is happening, and a part of me still-in-shock. I couldn’t wait to tell him stories at the end of the day, which sometimes I almost exaggerates just to see how funny he reacts. But this day, there was not going to be any storytelling with him, no more exaggeration, any more corny jokes, and no more road sessions. It was all right, though, because by the time I had realized that I may not coming back and nothing anymore did matter much. Yeah, I really had a black sense of humor. ;)

Looking up at the trees, I know that I reached the turning point of my life. Yesterday started it, and I had some important decisions to make, whether to allow things to continue as they were, or to stop for a while and weigh things in their respective manner.
I know that the love I have given is a part of something the earth does not know about him, the real him and loved him anyway. Was not true love the most powerful drug in the world?

During the years, I had been enamored of him, that anything he did, I saw wonderful. The thing is, I had no idea of how to becoming my self again. When everyday is a good story book that you read with him, with new pages of adventures and laughter you enjoyed together. I may loose control of the anger, I may struggle and suffered to my idea, but that is just how it goes. You live, you learn, you give, you receive less, you love.