The Secret

It frightens me, yes. But I have to smile. I must. I don't know how to explain how I feel at this moment. I'm afraid.The only thing I know is that, I'm not yet ready..it is my greatest fear..she's the only family I have. While writing this, tears are flowing and no matter how much I tried to stop it, it keeps on falling. I should gather my strength, I must compose my thoughts, I must be her strong refuge, but  I'm too weak to face it. How I wish I could tell the world..the secret.

Let's go back to the start..

That's it.. Sabi nila, ang love story daw na gawa ng Lord, kapag hindi pa happy ending..hindi pa daw yun ending. I believe in that. Alam ko, God designed and save something very special for me. It might not be now, but it will come. Pero syempre while waiting, I have God to comfort me, to keep me grounded, to make me feel that His love is never ending, it is fresh every morning, it never gets tired, its always there to cheer me up. It is there to keep me company, to remind me that I need not to be no. 1 at everything but just being me is enough.

He was a good man, and the way I knew him cannot be changed. It will remain there, kaya nga ako umalis e kasi ayokong mabago yung paraan kung paano ko sya nakilala at kung paano ko sya minahal. I want that feeling to last forever. wala akong gustong maaalala kundi how it was all strated, how the fairy tale begun, how it goes well, how it was blessed, how it was before..

Call me weak, pero ayoko talagang makita yung fall down, i dont want to see everything is breaking just because we changed, whether it was him or me had changed, it doesnt matter anymore, basta ang alam ko, gusto kong tumigil ang lahat sa kung paano ako paulit ulit na nainlove noon. ayokong makita kung anong nangyayari ngayon..

I'd rather leave while I'm in love. Kasi yun yung gusto kong maalala palagi and letting go doesn't always mean ending, maybe,just maybe..there is best to come.

Lord, please do what I am always whispering to you at night. Thank you for the chance of being love.

Sugat

Nakatingin sa kawalan,umaasa sa wala
Napakaraming buntung-hininga ang hindi mo magawa
Maraming sana, bakit, pwede kaya?
Paano mo yayakapin ang talinghaga?

Para bang multo ang paligid habang tinititigan
Ang lawak ng langit hindi mo matingnan
Ang dami ng kulang, hanggang saan at kailan?
Para bang alaalang pinipilit kalimutan..

Humahabi ng kwentong masaya ang katapusan
Kahit na ang luha ay wala nang pagsidlan
Tigib ang pusong lihim na sugatan
Pagkat kailangang ngumiti kahit na nasasaktan

Nakatingin sa parang, hanggang mag dapit-hapon..
Ang pag-ibig bay kukunin na ng panahon?
Maghihintay kayang  maubos ang alaon
O ang tubig sa karagatan kailan kaya hihinahon?

Matalim ang salitang hindi mo matalos
Para bang ibong ikinulong at iginapos
Impit na paghikbing hindi matapos tapos
Sa rehas ng mga kwentong may sugat at galos.

passing by..

Funny. I was about to write a blog about what am feeling right now, but the moment i opened my page and saw the profile picture in it, there was this unexplainable feeling inside the envelopes the entirety of me.

I honestly can't figure it out until this very moment, but it was actually a happy thought that I cannot recall.