...words are flowing..my heart is writing..

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Something about Ed

It takes time and tests for us to realize and recognize a true friend. It maybe someone na nakasama mo through thick and thin or maybe a once companion turned into a significant person in your life. I value friendship a lot, in fact, my friends were not as many as one can imagine. I have a few list of true friends, sila yung mga taong i-reverse mo man lahat ng mathematical equation e sila pa din yung quotient na lalabas.

Sa haba ng panahon, all of us were getting older and wiser in life, most of my friends already have a family of their own but what surprises me is the deep rooted friendship I had with Ed.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko matandaan kung paano at saan nagsimula na maging magkaibigan kami, all I know is that when he applied as OJT noon sa company na pinagttrabahuan ko, he was the first person that greets me in the morning and the last person that will greet me at night. Sa sobrang busy ng schedules ko at a young age, I learned to be more focus and business-like everyday so building network and friendship is not my craft before.

Kanina, since today is holiday, I am planning to just stay at starbucks festival as usual and unwind, don kc mag isa lang ako, wala akong kilala, and I don't care if there is any, I can breathe there, I can be myself. Along my way, I called him up just to know his condition in Pampanga since he live there with his wife and son. Funny because, friendship really offers the best and the worst to both of you.

Did you know that Eduardo (haha, as I call him madalas) is the only man that can make me both annoyed, irritated and happy?

Yes. Sa lahat yata ng kaibigan ko, well, hindi sila madami because some are just acquaintances not friends really, Ed is the most sensible and honest of all. Yung honesty nya kadalasan ang nakakapagpainit ng ulo ko, at the same time pulls me back to gravity. Katulad ngayon, imagine to suggest something new sa blogs ko just for him because he just knew me and practically upon seeing the format of my writings, alam na daw nya na ako ang nagsulat non. See, how demanding and rude he is?

So while thinking over about the conversations we had, instead of writing something about business(which is the main topics of my live journals) e sya ang naisulat ko. (hahaha!)

Amidst of this, Eduardo is someone I really can rely on, sya yung kaibigan ko na hindi tumigil nor stop communicating with me and reaching me out for whatever means na pwede nyang gawin. He always makes sure am okay, am fine and that no one is hurting me nor distracting me in a whole lot sense.

Sya yung kalaban ko sa lahat ng advocacies ko pero sya din yung no. 1 supporter ko (of course iba yung level ng support ni Ross). He is the worst side of me in terms of political ideas, goals and life's perspective, pero sya yung kaibigan ko that exactly knows how I feel and perfectly understand what I want to hear. (hahaha!)

Hay naku Eduardo, look at what you've  done. Sinabi ko naman kc sayo, if gusto mo ng something serious, wag ka dito mag react, dun ka sa live journal ko pumunta para mag nose bleed ka sa lahat ng Risk Analysis, Management Tips, and Business Related issues instead na i-criticized mo tong blogs ko.. kaya nga "inkblot" di ba? informal yung articles ko here. It's all about thoughts and scribed ideas through writing..

But nevertheless, am thankful and so bless having you around. Thank you for the friendship.. love you Bro!

I KNOW HE'S THERE..


A Ghost Friend who means much to me
For all the understanding you give abundantly
For listening with a heart
For cheering me when I am blue
And just for simply being you..
For the in-depth conversation that stimulates my brain
For silly times we laugh out loud, but we can’t explain
My secret flaws and faults which no one knows
Keeps the bond to simply grow...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Escape from Lupus..

The day ends. My waiting is over, Thank God, all the lab tests were normal. There were confusions taunting me, but I don't think I will dwell on that. There were pains, yes, but I decided to schedule everything. At least this time, I somehow managed to have a "me-time" for check ups and/or consultations.

For three weeks, medical consultations has been a "routine" for me. If there is an attitude that everybody knows about me, it is when I started something (e.g medical check ups, etc.), am gonna make sure to finish it so that I won't go back anymore.

Having all the medical consultations done, I am now going back to where I used to be. Those weekends really taught me lessons. Most importantly, I managed to view life as a whole within three weeks. All of sudden, my views changed, and everything seems to turn 360 degrees. But don't get me wrong, its all for the betterment of everything (I suppose).

Ross really deserve a gratitude for pushing me to have finish my clinic schedules. Am really lucky having him as my "Prayer Buddy". No one could really play his role in my life, and if there is, am sure that would be in another lifetime. Thank you so much Honey. ( a big hug for you >.< )

And not to mention my cool doctor (ksc213) for inspiring me to be more sensitive and responsible about my health condition. Thank you Doctor.

Am sure this year's August will be very memorable to me as I am now preparing my schedules for September. God must be really good to me for letting me view life in a different perspective.

Have to park here. It's time to go back to work and back to reality. Am fine..I know I will be. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

KANLUNGAN


I will never get tired of hearing this song from Noel Cabangon. His songs always reminds me of how simple things made life worthy to live everyday.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari tomorrow, pero alam kong whatever happens I always have Ross, my Safe Refuge.

Time really flies so fast, kaya dapat maappreciate ko ang bawat araw na masaya ako, na nagmamahal ako, na nagtitiwala ako sa mga tao sa paligid ko, at higit sa lahat, dapat maging blessing ako sa ibang tao so that I will have no regrets habang lumilipas ang panahon.

Love, 
Carmi


Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Heart of Worship

This morning, I feel so moved to share my testimony. I had drifted away for quite a while, having absences in the fellowship and Sunday Church services, but being the Omniscient God that He is, He called me back again to Him.

How many times, I resisted this song that keeps on playing in my mind, but I end up singing pa rin while preparing for work..

This song actually tells everything why I am so in love with GOD. He is there, He never leaves me, He will never will..

TAKE ME OUT OF THE DARK
By: Gary Valenciano
 
 Just what is it in me?
Sometimes I just don't know
What keeps me in Your love,
Why you never let me go

And though you're in me now,

I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel

You have forgiven me

Too many times it seems
I feel I'm not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all

And though I love You so

Temptation finds it's way to me

Teach me to trust in You

With all my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
I just forget
You won't give me what I can't bear

Take me out of the dark, my Lord

I don't wanna be there

You've never left my side

You gave Your hand to me to hold
Oh Jesus, I'm no longer in the cold

And yet, I leave You there

When I feel satisfied
I'd like to thank You every day
Not only when I feel that way

I've never known a Man

Who'd give His life for sinners like me
And yet, because He loves us so
He's promised us eternity
And we can have that promise
And be His if we have faith
And just believe

Teach us to trust in you

With all my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
We just forget
You won't give us what we can't bear

Take us out of the dark, My Lord

'Cause we don't want to be alone
Take me out of the dark, My Lord
We don't wanna be there, My Lord

Trust in You with all my heart

Lean not on my own understanding
I just forget
You won't give me what I can't bear

Take me out of the dark, My Lord

Cause we don't want to be alone
Take me out of the dark, My Lord
I don't want to be there

" Thank You Lord"

Thank You Doc ;)

Im not used to seeing a doctor. Masyadong mataas ang tolerance level ko sa pain. Ang alam ko as long as nakakatayo pa ako at kaya ko pang magtrabaho, i'll go for work. But lately, mejo marami na akong nararamdaman sa katawan ko. Ross insisted me to see a doctor for check up, pero as usual, stubborn si Carmi.

Then one day, gumising ako na napaka sama ng pakiramdam not knowing what the cause was, but then again, I just choose to keep it inside, until dumating yung point na hindi ko na talaga kaya, I went and see a doctor.

Until now, am having my medication, series of laboratory tests and bloodworks has been made, may isa pa akong bloodwork na hinihintay, well, honestly natatakot ako for whatever the result maybe. But having Doctor Kyle around, I think magagawa ko pa ding ngumiti kahit alam kong natatakot ako. This doctor unknowingly assured me that I am safe, he enlightened me of the things na dapat noon ko pa ginawa, that is to have a regular check up and being conscious about my health. He unknowingly inspire me of doing the things na kinakatamaran ko non, and that is being sensitive sa mga nararamdaman ng katawan ko.

I don't know Doctor Kyle personally, but I feel safe kapag alam kong sya yung kausap ko, I know I shouldn't be because after all, he is still a doctor. And medical practitioners are as good as business tycoons. But in him, pakiramdam ko, kausap ko lang ang kuya ko. He reminds me of a good friend  nung high school ako.

There is something in him that makes me feel relieve and at ease kahit na alam kong am not well at all.

Ang alam ko, wala pa syang specialization, but sooner I know that he will be a good doctor, my prayer goes with him na sana hindi sya magbago the way he performs his responsibility and duty as a doctor. Siguro I'll be having my last visit with him this weekend, probably because he will be referring me to a doctor specialized in my illness (depends on the result of my last bloodwork).

I'm thankful sa patience nya, though, he has a sarcastic humor (hahaha!) but he is really a very good doctor in the making! kuddos!

Thanks Doc. Kyle Luigi S. Cabañez.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

LEAVE IT..

I had no plans of knowing what the results is..

Am afraid.


Had to go back to the start, as if am okay

No worrying, no pains, none at all..


Had to thank the doctor but no plans of going back..